Life's Dating Operating Manual

Bad first date ideas — your parents' house

Want to know a bad first date idea? Bringing her to your parents' place. Don't laugh, because we've actually heard of one case where a dude actually brought his first date over to his parents' place. It didn't really start as the main plan for the evening, but the conversation hit a lull while they were eating dinner at a diner (which isn't a great start anyway), and the man casually suggested if she would like to come with him to stop by and see his parents. Not sure how to refuse the offer, the woman complied, and next thing you know they were at the parents' dining room table, eating pasta and olives. We're sure the food was great, but we also know that your parents' house is the last place to ever take a first date.

Want a boring date? Bring her to the library

For those intellectual, reader types, a date at the library might be a tempting thing. Maybe you saw her online dating website profile, and noticed that she enjoys reading books. This might lead you down a thought pattern until you eventually land on the idea that taking her to the library on your first date might be a good idea. However, we are here to tell you that you are wrong in so many ways. A library is the place that you go to study or rent a book — it's not the place that you bring your date to, especially not the first time you meet her. With the whisper policy of libraries, how do you expect to carry out a decently audible conversation with your date? Do you expect to really get laid with you if all you're both doing is spending time in different rows, reading the introductions to different books? It's great that you like to read, and it's great that you have that in common with your date, but stick to the practical first date hot spots.

Watch a movie to ruin your chances of communication

Want to really kill your chances of communication? Then a movie is the perfect place to bring your first date. Seriously, this is still one of the most common first date flubs, and we don't understand how so many men keep making the same mistake over and over again. If you thought that you couldn't communicate in a library, imagine how silent and awkward it will be in a movie theatre, where talking is pretty much banned altogether. A movie can be a good place to bring a first date if you're in high school and know the girl sufficiently well enough to make out with her the entire time. However, unless you two are in a particularly feisty mood, chances are that you won't be making out during the movie, and you'll only be watching it while sitting awkwardly, silently close to each other.

Want to turn her on? Don't bring her to a sex shop

Some men looking to turn their women on as early as possible might suggest meeting up at the local sex shop and browsing through the aisles. However, we can not stress how bad that idea is. We understand the logic, and we definitely respect that, but suggesting a first date at a sex shop is completely foolish and will result in a completely sexless night. Really, if this is your first date idea, how do you go about your daily life? Sure, sex toys are cool and interesting, and they could be fun enhancers to sex, but it's not the place to meet a lady for the first time. Just stick with the classic places, like a bar or restaurant. Maybe a walk by the river at night. Really, a sex shop? What were you thinking?

Bad date classics — a date at the gym

For many an average bro out there, the thought of taking a first date to a gym has frequently crossed the mind. That, however, is a bad date classic. Again, we totally understand the logic here; you promote a healthy lifestyle, and so does your date. Since you both like to train so much, then maybe training together might be fun. However, we are of the opinion that bringing a first date to a gym is a horrendous idea. First of all, you'll both be sweating profusely by the end of the workout, which is a bad look for the first date. Second, you might struggle lifting a certain class of weight, and this will lead her to disrespect your strength. Finally, with all the monstrous men at the gym who could lift twice the weight that you were having trouble with, do you really want to bring your girl to the gym, especially while she's wearing those yoga pants? Maybe it's best to just go for a walk downtown, and maybe grab a bite to eat.