Every single time we get drunk, without fail, we receive nature’s call to find a hot woman and pseudo-procreate with her. It happens every time, and it’s always painful when those desires don’t get fulfilled. Have drunk casual sex is a super tricky ordeal, but there are a few steps to try taking that could actually turn the endeavor into a successful one.
Finding casual sex in the world while drunk — the proper mindset
So, you’re out, it’s late, and you’re really drunk. While the thought of getting into a pointless fight surely crosses your mind, it’s essentially drowned out by the louder thought of trying to get laid. When we’re drunk at the end of the night, all we really want is a hot booty call before calling it a night. Casual sex in the world can be found even by those who are incredibly inebriated; it just takes the right steps. Before anything, you must envelop the proper mindset before taking any wobbly steps forward. By this we mean that you must completely realize how drunk you are, and take all of your future blunders with a grain of salt. If you prepare yourself for the inevitable missteps that are to come, you have less of a chance of becoming discouraged and abandoning your casual sex efforts altogether.
Maintain your balance
We cannot stress the importance of this point. Maintain your balance throughout every step, for the entire night. Along with the realization of your inebriation comes the responsibility of not falling down flat on your face and breaking your nose completely. It will be a hard journey ahead, but you must try to realign yourself with the center of the earth, and maintain a sense of balance for the remainder of your sexual adventure. Since this is a crowded night downtown, your object of affection will have had to deflect several unbalanced drunks trying to make a move on her. Instantly differentiate yourself from the crowd by becoming a truly balanced walker, and not making any missteps whatsoever.
Thinking about what to say? Don’t say anything!
If you’re thinking about what to say, we suggest that you don’t say anything. If you open your mouth and say anything at all, your chances of getting laid will be ruined, because all that can come out of your mouth right now is utter rubbish. When you find the girl that you want to have sex with, simply convey all of your desire through body language. Look her straight in the eye with your most seductive face while leaning at the bar. Don’t break eye contact, and let your irises communicate your passion to hers. If you are doing this correctly, then that hottie will not be able to resist your allure. She will symbolically roll out the red carpet for you, and you will take the night from there.
Sweep her off her feet (just not literally)
Now that you have your in, it’s time for you to sweep her off her feet. Although, we don’t suggest that you do this literally, since lifting her up in the state you’re in will most likely result in her injury. We just mean that you should be as charming as possible as you get to know your lady. Of course, you’re still super drunk, so you’re not able to say much without seeming like someone who knows no languages. This is why we suggest that you stick to one-word sentences — specifically, one-word questions. The only five words you should ever be saying are who, why, what, where, and how. Uttering one of these words with a question’s inflection at the end will result in her delivering you minutes’ worth of verbal information, and all you have to do is give her your most charismatic facial expression as she tells you all about herself.
Enjoy your wasted one night stand
If you’ve followed the above steps correctly, and your gal is still with you by the time the bar closes, then you’re probably on your way to a wasted one night stand. By this point, she’s had enough to drink to really entertain the idea of sleeping with you. All you have to do now is suggest that she come back to your place so that you can watch some TV together. By that, we of course mean let the TV play while you have sex on your couch. Now, the only obstacle left is getting up the stairs to your apartment. You’ve made it this far, so we think you have that covered.